The 3 Top Fears That Prevent Change.
Change is all around us. At the moment it seems we are all experiencing some significant change or fighting against change by not recognising the need to look at things differently. It does not matter who you are, the CEO of a corporation or the worker, we all have to look at what is working and what is not and as we say in the startup world it might be time to pivot, change direction, change your focus. There are three top fears that prevent us from making the change required to reach our dreams, so I would like to share them here with you today as food for thought.
Fear of Loss
The fear of loss is real it is the loss of your friends or comradeship when that change knocks. fear of what was once easy and now you have to work a bit harder. Loss of what was familiar and loss status or importance. Loss of something you love. Change bluntly asks you “what are you prepared to give up to move forward?.”
Fear of Disappointment
The disappointment of, if you do this change if you venture into the unknown, is unsafe and hazardous. The uncertainty of the unfamiliar, as loss of power and the change of what once was your power. Disappointment is all in your mind. What if we didn’t take it personally, what if it wasn’t about us at all? Even if it was real disappointment, it is ok to feel the feelings for a few minutes and then let it go. You can move toward the understanding that disappointment is the emotion, and you can change it by what you choose to focus on. To focus on a positive outcome is taking action toward creating what you want and experience your dreams.
Fear of what if it doesn’t work
So what if it doesn’t work? Then go harder. What if that, doesn’t work? Then observe what didn’t work, learn from it and move on. What if it doesn’t work? can also be what if it does work? what have I gained and looked at what is possible? What if! It just depends on how you choose to look at it. Are you choosing to be affected by the change? Or gather and growth through change? We all have a choice.
What if has a heads and tails perspective if you always choose to see the negative you will forever create an outcome of what you don’t want. Some people even set goals like this “my goal is not to be in this job anymore”. Rather than; ”my goal is to experience my life the way I want it.”
Sometimes it’s just an unconscious belief that is holding you from your dreams. That crazy outdated belief that you may not know fully aware. And that belief that rattles off like a broken record in your head saying, “you can’t have that, that looks like pleasure, you might enjoy it too much, don’t even go there. Or “you’re not worthy of that” and “that life is for rich and lucky people, that could never be something I could have” it is a belief it is the self-talk that is lethal and that will hold you back from experiencing a life you are truly aligned.
“Progress is impossible without change and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything”- George Bernard Shaw
How do you change?
It all begins with your willingness to change the way you do you. It starts with observation of self and other and acceptance of self. These are the three keys to moving with change. There is no need for judgment of self and others it is more about the learning you gather through the journey of change.
Changing your mind about the way we respond to change is not as easy as it sounds, I am sure you’re thinking just that. It takes practice, repetition and consistency to make any change permanent.
Face your fears with willingness, observation of how you can respond powerfully. Accept and embrace change in a way that you stand in your truth. As Socrates said :
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old but on building the new.
Finally, to bring it all together, it is all about acceptance. Acceptance sounds nice a squishy, however, it is about taking responsibility for where you are today. It is about acknowledging what fears come up around change and seeing the opportunity’s and possibility.
Here are some questions you can answer for yourself so that you have more information about what the fears are.
1.What is my fear around disappointment if I invite change?
2.What is my fear about what if it doesn’t work?
3.Now, how can you experience it differently?
“Remember; Change is leading you to a new beginning.”- Walt Disney
If you are experiencing change and need help, engage a coach to assist you through this change. This will help you see a new perspective and give you tools to plan your new adventure.