Nobody wants fear to get in the way of our dreams for the future. Fears can cripple us or drive us. Fear is one of those emotions that we ourselves are the creator of. Here is how three fears can stop you from following your dreams and how to combat your fear.
Fears stand the way of our dreams if we don’t actively control it. If you have defined fears, then you have experienced a significant emotional event.
Well, the good news is, yes, you can control the fear, you need to find another strategy because the way you are currently operating just is not healthy. and change your mind about the way you do you. Why? because your body can not function on alert at all times you must hand over to the unconscious mind and to do this you will need to address your trust issues.
If you are constantly feeling like you are on red alert fearful about having a relationship, fearful of changing your job or fearful of living your dream because you don’t think you are worth it, then it is time to change your mind about the way you do you and change your life. Take control of your life by understanding the strategy your currently using is affecting your freedom. Why because your body can not function on alert at all times you must learn to hand over to the unconscious mind. And to do this you will need to address some trust issues.
The Reality of Fear
The good news is, if you are really good at fear this means that you are really good and using your imagination. That is excellent because when you finally realise it is not producing the results you want you can start to focus on the desired outcomes and put your energy there instead. In fact, if you experience anxiety then you are exceptional at it. If you are going to be that good at the anxiety and let it run your life, then at least be the Director in your movie and produce some movies out of your fear like Stephen Speilberg and make millions out of your imagination. Otherwise, it is a waste of your energy and effort.
Remember anxiety is your unconscious mind telling you you’re not focusing on what you want, and that you are really good at focusing on what you don;t want. So, the answer is to focus on the outcome of what you want to experience instead.
Fear is human nature to push boundaries to see what we can and can not do in work and in play and as an adult, not just children.
When change suddenly occurs in our life or business and things start to spiral out of control and the nasty fear monster comes out you experience the following:
- Fear of loss “If I loose my job I can’t do anything else”
- Fear of being disappointed “I hate it when people let me down”
- Fear of uncertainty “I’ve never done that before myself, I don’t know how, or what to compare it to, it’s unfamiliar to me”
Forget self-judgment “I could never do that. I am not smart enough. I am not good enough. I am not worthy”
Sometimes you just need to give yourself permission to have that familiar feeling and do it anyway. feel relaxed feeling we call self- hypnosis; because they are the ones always in control.
What about hypnosis for anxiety?
Did you know that you can only experience hypnosis if it is ok with you, to take the suggestions and that you feel safe? When you do feel safe you can learn how to feel relaxed feeling we call self- hypnosis. People who are always doing everything for everyone, choose not to allow themselves to have that relaxed feeling out of fear and self-judgment of loosing control or “I am not worthy…” and the rest of it that useless chatter that goes on in the mind. But don’t worry it is common. It’s all about self-awareness and feeling safe. So if you don’t feel safe ask yourself “when was the first time I began to believe that I was not safe and for what purpose? Then, you can assess what it was that created that belief and you can start to reassess the decision made the necessary as it may no longer be relevant for you now. People are conditioned like this, and it is a learned behaviour, and often they will have decided the risk is too much to give up the problem and will choose to stay with their problem. And that’s ok! They are not ready to be responsible for their outcomes and where they are today.
Combating fears is all about self-awareness and feeling safe. So, if you don’t feel safe ask yourself “When was the first time I began to believe that I was not safe and for what purpose? Then, you can assess what it was that created that belief and you can start to reassess the decision made the necessary as it may no longer be relevant for you now. People are conditioned like this, and it is a learned behaviour, and often they will have decided the risk is too much to give up the problem and will choose to stay with their problem. And that’s ok! They are not ready to be responsible for their outcomes and where they are today.
How big is the problem
Do you secretly love your problem more than loving yourself?
On the flip side of the coin, you have the people who are the ones who love their problems. They dream but don’t believe they can have what they want and go back to what they know and familiar with, and that is their problem.
When dreamers are productive the become explorers, and if they don’t explore they will choose to stay dreamers, waiting for the world to owe them something, their happiness comes from someone else source, and they are reliant on it. Just waiting for something to happen to them and blame the world for their miss fortune.
These people will find a problem to rely on where they get the correct response from their external world which in turn allows them to stay a victim, and they will nurture the problem as a child.
People who love their problem, sickness, issue, might say things like; “it’s hard…” and “it’s not my fault…” and ” I am trying…” “That person made me feel like this…”. This language is victim language and can be replaced with power language. However, victims language is all too familiar in today’s society. It is where most people choose to be; then it is not their fault
Choices and commitments
Everyone has a choice as to the way they use language so that it serves them in a way that it produces positive outcomes. Language that supports and upholds commitment, such as ” I am” and ” I can” can do language. It is committing to better outcomes and becomes a suggestion that you can actually drive your experiences in a way that are uplifting words, toward the way you want to experience it.
“A problem is only a problem if you make it a problem, and you continue to feed and nurture the problem. The problem ceases to exist when we focus on solutions.” -Linda McCall
Is a part of you in conflict?
Have you ever said this; ” part of me wants this and the other part says …” I know that is a bit difficult for some people to hear all this, but if this makes you cranky then a part of you might love your problem too much and that part of you could be in conflict. So naturally, notice how it makes you feel and if it brings up emotions for you. And that’s ok, it’s your stuff, please feel free to keep your problem, but now you know, you can decide whenever you want to stop experiencing what you don’t want. And perhaps focus on finding out what that part of you truly wants.
Sure you have. I know that is a bit difficult for some people to hear all, but if this makes you cranky then a part of you might love your problem too and that part of you could be in conflict. So naturally, notice how it makes you feel and if it brings up emotions for you. And that’s ok, it’s your stuff, please feel free to keep your problem, but now you know, you can decide whenever you want to stop experiencing what you don’t want and decide what you do want and focus on it. Then lastly decide when you want it.
Sit quietly, with those things you want and let those immerse you in having it now as you relax and feel the feelings of being totally relaxed.
Problem Solver & Self-Sabotage
Are you a problem solver?
Do you self sabotage?
When we talk about hypnosis as a problem solver, the most miss understood part of hypnosis is that – “Hypnosis is only a magic trick when you make the magic! “. You are the magic trick when you decide to make the change, rather than waiting for someone to make the change for you. Since ” All hypnosis is self-hypnosis.”
Having that totally familiar relaxed feeling of self-hypnosis is your choice…that’s right it’s totally up to you. After all, we now know that “all hypnosis is self-hypnosis”.No one can make you do hypnosis. And in fact, if you do hypnosis with someone and a part of you is in conflict with doing it, then you will self-sabotage your session.
Can you make me act like a chicken?
This is something people often say when they enquire about Hypnotherapy.
The short answer is no? not unless you choose to take the suggestion. The unconscious mind has a sense of humour to you know! I am pretty sure you can do the chicken dance all on your own! I apologise for the about the song you now have in your head.
Belief Systems & Filters
Feeling Hypnotised is an accelerated relaxed feeling. And we will only actualize if we believe it to be safe and we have control. What is true for you, and what we can convince ourselves to believe, depends on the greatness of the need to change. This need is filtered through our attitudes and beliefs.
We filter an incredible amount of information as we receive it in every moment and ever second. They are filtered through all our senses in our bodies. We process up to 2 million bits per second recent studies have believed it is up to 400 million bits, and that information is then deleted, distorted and generalised. They are then filtered down to only seven plus or minus bits of information. That’s a lot of processing.
The Unconscious Mind Tricks
The unconscious mind wants to protect you and will keep you safe. In hypnosis, that feeling of relaxation is up to you to create. If you are not willing to follow instructions, and it’s not ok with you not to have that relaxed feeling, then you will not be open to direction and the process of not taking the suggestion to have that full relaxed feeling.
No one can control you; they can only make a recommendation and that suggestions will be filtered through your experience which set up your unconscious convinces from experience, by using language use of manipulating language so that you are comfortable with it, but not controls you. Moreover, no one can do hypnosis to you. They can, however, do hypnosis with you. It is your choice to take the suggestions and follow directions given to you.
What I truly want for you, is to understand fully is that you are the one who makes the change in hypnosis by allowing that relaxed feeling. That familiar feeling will take place if you allow it. The therapist is your guide to making the desired change.
So always remember this “all hypnosis is self-hypnosis”.
The reason why hypnosis is so powerful is, simply that you are the powerful one, The therapist is just a guide, you are the self-healer. If you totally trust yourself first and the person who is your guide (a professionally trained hypnotherapist) then you will have success in all the process.
If you have given yourself permission to fully relax and allow the process to work with your unconscious mind. Only if you are willing, and it is OK with you. Just as you do with meditation.
If you are open, receptive and have given permission to the external source just like when you relax in front of the television. We tend to trust, television and consciously decided to allow and accept the suggestions given to you through media source being DVD, television and radio.
The Power of Suggestion
To allow the process of hypnosis to create change and enhance your life, please understand you are healing your self here, the therapist is your personal guide to freedom. Essentially, even going to the Doctors you still have to take the suggestion as to what medication and to take action on what to do next in assisting you with your health.
However, when we don’t understand something fully we are cautious, and it is a good thing to be cautious. We will continuously delete distort and generalise all the information we receive subliminally and you are doing it right now with the masses of input per second (2 million bits per second), that we filter are all suggestions to the unconscious mind.
Influenced by past experiences
We are heavily influenced by our past experiences, that in turn create our values, beliefs and attitudes which mean that you draw upon all those beliefs and values into attitudes and behaviours creating outcomes in the present moment.
Our experiences give signals, which filtering information, which creates an internal representation and pops out as a behaviour. (No chickens required in this process!).
Hypnosis can assist you with your health through direct communication with the unconscious mind to help heal the body on an unconscious level. It can unseat deeply held success-blockages, beliefs and attitudes that a person may have installed for himself or herself in the past.
When we hear about hypnosis, we still have the stage show image in the back of our minds of a man running around like a chicken….right! Well, I am sure most of us can do that (run around like a chook) consciously, on your own, in your busy day to day life you already have. Right?
The hardest part about Hypnosis is letting go. To give yourself permission to trust yourself and the process and totally surrender to the process. Let go of the external noises and the need to know. Release the outside world and allow that relaxed feeling, just like that feeling of just before you fall asleep at night and that, the semi-conscious feeling when you are aware of your surrounding in the morning just before you open your eyes, that is what hypnosis feels like. You still have total control.
It is common knowledge with trained therapists that “a person under hypnosis will only actualize what he or she does not believe to be true”. Which means that the therapist must believe that they can achieve the total relaxation as well as the client.
Your unconscious mind will also take a suggestion to play and have fun, hence the suggestion of doing something fun and silly.
If you want to have good communication with your unconscious mind, all you have to do is to allow your mind to take suggestion to the body in a positive and uplifting way. By doing this you are actively changing the coding of the mind.
You can do this process with a trained NLP master practioner, but remember you are the therapist and the therapist is you guide. You are the one who allows the suggestion to take place.